Making the Holidays less
Materialistic
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(http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/holidays_materialistic.html) |
"The gimmes" are
all around us during the holiday season. You know - "Gimme this," "Gimme that,"
"I want this," "I want that." It can be hard for children - and parents alike -
to look beyond all of the product-driven hoopla to see what the holidays are
really about.
It's not the
actual gifts but what's behind the present that’s important - the spirit of
giving. Help your kids learn the fun of giving, and how rewarding it can be to
look for, make, and wrap something special - or
do something
special - for people they care about and others who are in need.
Here are five
ways you can help decrease materialism in your kids and reinforce the real
reason for the season.
1.
Teach Kids to Question Marketing Messages The
advertisements kids see around the holidays can help foster unrealistic
expectations and lead to disappointment. After seeing their "wish list" items
presented perfectly all around them, it's hard for reality to measure up when
they actually open their gifts.
Of course, it's
nearly impossible to eliminate all exposure to marketing messages. You can
certainly turn off the TV or at least limit your kids' watching time, but
they'll still see and hear advertisements for the latest gizmos and must-haves
at every turn.
But what you
can do is:
Explain, when
your kids ask for products they see advertised, that commercials and other ads
are designed to make people want things they don't necessarily need, according
to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). And these ads are often meant to
make us think that these products will make us happier somehow. Talking to kids
about what things are like in reality can help put things into perspective a
little.
Talk to your
children about what they think about the products they see advertised as you're
watching TV, listening to the radio, reading magazines, or shopping together.
Ask some thought-provoking questions such as:
"Do you think
you need that product? If so, why?"
"Do you think
that product really looks, tastes, or works the same way as it seems to in the
ad?"
"Do you think
that product will make you happy? If so, why?"
Limit your
child's exposure to TV commercials, the AAP recommends, by:
Having your kids
watch public television stations
Taping programs
- without the commercials
Buying or
renting children's videos or DVDs
Teach your
children that not everything they want can always be theirs. Also explain to
your kids that a little "want" here and there isn't all bad. The key with
wanting things, as with most things, is to do it in moderation and to fully
appreciate what you're given. Emphasize that the holidays are a special time,
when a lot of love and thought is put into gift giving.
2.
Focus on Family Traditions Talk
about which family traditions your family loves the most.
Then figure out how you can put
more emphasis on them. If you love the tradition of lighting the menorah, get
together as a group to make your own candles. If you enjoy the family trip to
pick out a tree, make it an all-day event in which you head to a tree farm to
choose your own.
Find
out what the holidays mean to others.
Have your children talk to a grandparent, parent, uncle, or aunt about how they
spent the holidays growing up. Some holiday traditions that used to be strong -
such as neighborhood caroling - are all but lost today. Maybe you'd like to
revive some of these as a way to share some holiday spirit with your family,
friends, or community.
Build
some new traditions.
If you don't have any family traditions, it's never too late to start. Get
together around activities that you all enjoy, such as cooking or ice-skating.
Ask your kids what they would enjoy doing every year and make an effort to do
it. If you can't all decide on one thing, make traditions out of several, so
that everyone feels like part of the festivities.
3.
Teach Children to Give of Themselves Also, if
volunteering begins at an early age, it can become part of a child's life -
something he or she may just expect and want to do. It can teach kids:
The
knowledge that one person can make a difference.
A wonderful, empowering message for a child is that he or she is important
enough to have an impact on someone or something else.
The
benefit of sacrifice.
By giving up a toy to a less fortunate child, a child learns that it's good to
sacrifice sometimes. Cutting back on recreation time to help others tells kids
that there are important things other than our immediate needs and us.
Tolerance.
Working in community service can bring kids and teens in touch with people of
different backgrounds, abilities, ethnicities, ages, and education and income
levels, which can be a particularly important point to make around the
holidays. They'll likely find that even the most diverse individuals can be
united by common values.
To
be even more appreciative of what they have.
By helping others who aren't as fortunate, kids can better understand all the
remarkable things they should be grateful for in their own lives.
Choose to help
an organization or group that fits with your family's values and the things you
believe in. Just a few ways you can help out in your community and beyond:
Sponsor
another family in need or purchase some presents for less fortunate children
through a toy donation program. Let your kids pick out and wrap gifts for the
other children themselves.
If
your kids love animals, talk to your local animal shelter.
Many distribute staples like pet food to low-income pet owners over the
holidays and need volunteers to help.
Give
back to the elderly in your area.
Help out at a nursing home; visit with older people who could use a little
extra joy and company around the holidays; bring gifts or meals to elderly who
are homebound; or lend a hand to elderly neighbors who need some assistance
with decorating, cooking, or wrapping presents.
Volunteer
your family's time
by helping out at a children's hospital or homeless shelter or building or
refurbishing housing for people in need.
Community
service can teach children that giving comes in many forms, not just as piles
of presents. Emphasize to your kids that giving of their time, effort, and
caring can mean so much more - and can be so much more lasting - than any gift
that money can buy.
4.
Give Gifts With Meaning But presents
don't always have to be purchased in a store. Teach your kids how to put some
real meaning and feelings into their gifts this year and beyond. Making their
own presents can help kids to show just how much they care and can make the
experience of giving so much more rewarding for both the giver and the
receiver.
Here are some
ideas to get your family started:
Make
homemade gifts together.
Create photo
albums, especially small "brag books" that family members can carry around with
them. Not only does this capture precious memories and show just how much they
mean, making photo album gifts also shows loved ones that a lot of thought and
time was put into their compiling their presents.
Print out and
frame favorite digital photos of friends and loved ones.
Create
customized stationery for people on your family's list using your home computer
and printer.
Have your
children create their own customized artwork - collages, paintings, drawings,
etc. - and put them in fun frames. Your kids can even decorate the frames.
Create a
customized family tree for family members (something grandparents would
especially appreciate).
Make your own
batches of presents, be it potpourri or ornaments, or wrapping paper and
customized home decorations like wreaths.
Create
personalized family videos for long-distance friends and loved ones.
Give
philanthropic gifts.
Lots of communities hold fairs where you can buy gifts by making a donation to
causes your family and friends care about. Others offer actual gifts that are
made by people with special needs. Check out charity organizations' websites
for information on donating money on behalf of others and about gifts whose
proceeds go to the charity itself.
Instead
of giving gifts of things, teach children to consider giving gifts of time.
For example, their grandmother may welcome their help in learning how to use a
computer. Or their little sister may want to learn how to knit. Have family
members create special gift certificates (i.e., "one free foot massage," "two
free car washes," "five free specially prepared meals," "10 free loads of
laundry," etc.). These days, when everyone's so stretched, a gift of time can
actually be more meaningful than one that costs big bucks.
5.
Be a Good Holiday Role Model |